Friday, November 11, 2011

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye to Mom was the hardest thing to do. It seems unbearable going on without her. Spending all this time with the family, it seems like something is missing. It doesn't seem right that Marianne, Jennifer and Tonya are in the kitchen cooking the family meals. And that she's not there to join in with us. I know David and I have a big responsibility to help Dad once everyone leaves. This will prove the hardest for him I'm sure as the house will be quiet. I see her hand in everything, so I know Dad does also. I know God will provide strength for him (and the rest of us) as we all try to find the new "normal" without her. We were all so close to her and she was there for all of us, to just not be able to even pick up the phone and call and talk to her doesn't seem right. The simplest things when your over at the house especially. Things you wouldn't even think of until you see it. Her coat laying on the back of the chair. Her purse laying in the office. The Fall decorations she had gotten out this season. Her cell number in my phone. The fact we always said going to "Mom and Dad's to just now, "Dad's." Just everything.
Aunt Miriam and Uncle Dave bought the grandkids and Dad books to help explain to them what has happened to Grandma. There were two different titles. Very nice of them to do and to help with telling the kids.
I know it will get easier, but the void will never be filled. The family being home is quickly coming to an end, and fast! I have knots in my stomach about them leaving. I don't want them to go back home. I wish they all lived here! :( We will do our best to help Dad. I feel bad he'll be alone. But, we work full time so we can't be there every minute. We have very big shoes to help fill. Hopefully having Kaylynn around (his favorite granddaughter) ;) will help to cheer him up. It will be the hardest thing he'll ever have to do is go on without her. It STILL doesn't seem real. Time will heal all wounds, but we will never forget her, EVER! We love and miss you Mom more and more everyday!!

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